Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
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