And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Randomize
