Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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