Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
Randomize
