I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Randomize