So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
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