You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
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