It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
oh god the rape fog is back!
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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