I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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