It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
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Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
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I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
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