I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
