My balls are so social today.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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