I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
you win again, gameday.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
Randomize
