As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
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