your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
