break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
