I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
