They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
Randomize
