Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
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