Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
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