At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
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