problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
Randomize
