i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
Semen is not good for contacts.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
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