Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
Randomize
