oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
Randomize
