Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
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