Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
