well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
Randomize
