yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
Randomize
