so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
Also, beer. Big fan.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
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