Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(518): View more from New York

OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....

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(518): OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX..... http://tfl.nu/r3kn

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(708): View more from Illinois

susan atkins died, charles manson's lady

(312): View more from Illinois

dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.

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(708): susan atkins died, charles manson's lady (312): dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on. http://tfl.nu/8zd1

Replies (11) Good night (731) Bad night (2376)
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(432): View more from Texas

ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...

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(432): ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today... http://tfl.nu/2fwj

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(917): View more from New York City

WISH UPON A TAMPON

(718): View more from New York

They constantly get farther than me.

(718): View more from New York

tampons.

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(917): WISH UPON A TAMPON (718): They constantly get farther than me. (718): tampons. http://tfl.nu/tcn2

Replies (45) Good night (560) Bad night (3512)
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(818): View more from California

dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.

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(818): dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants. http://tfl.nu/6u1l

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(608): View more from Wisconsin

you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"

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(608): you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?" http://tfl.nu/0sa8

Replies (19) Good night (10543) Bad night (1081) Order T-Shirt
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(781): View more from Massachusetts

Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!

(781): View more from Massachusetts

Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.

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(781): Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?! (781): Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze. http://tfl.nu/sc14

Replies (18) Good night (892) Bad night (3575)
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(561): View more from Florida

They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.

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(561): They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment. http://tfl.nu/ozel

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(804): View more from Virginia

Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.

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(804): Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick. http://tfl.nu/rxn3

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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.

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(+44): Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked. http://tfl.nu/926l

Replies (11) Good night (1016) Bad night (1881)
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(928): View more from Arizona

Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.

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(928): Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment. http://tfl.nu/kmtk

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(847): View more from Illinois

I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.

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(847): I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet. http://tfl.nu/ancz

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(650): View more from California

i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra

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(650): i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra http://tfl.nu/msm7

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(870): View more from Arkansas

I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that

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(870): I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that http://tfl.nu/cuww

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(832): View more from Houston, Texas

Get you some cowboy.

(832): View more from Houston, Texas

In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.

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(832): Get you some cowboy. (832): In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself. http://tfl.nu/cgrb

Replies (6) Good night (844) Bad night (275)

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