We need to start having sex underwater more often.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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