remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Randomize
