I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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