By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Randomize
