Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
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