I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
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