How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
Randomize
