How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Randomize
