He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
Randomize
