We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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