guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
Randomize