do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize
