We're facebook friends in real life
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
She has the best kind of daddy issues
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
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