She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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