my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
P.S. I can't hear my feet
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Randomize
