i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
Randomize
