it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Randomize
