Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
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