I'm laying in your front yard are you home
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
Randomize
