I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize
