I wish I could punch you in the face.
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
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