I wish they made helmets for livers.
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
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