I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
I think your dad took our porno
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
Randomize
