you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
3 2 1 whiskey
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
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