The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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