He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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