3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
Randomize