My girlfriend figured out who you are.
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
Randomize
