If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
I need a burrito and a hug.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
Randomize
