I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
We left an ass print on the piano.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Randomize
