with your own penis?
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
Randomize
